i went to see clem snide @ the abbey pub last nite. it was one of the best concerts i've ever been too. eef barzelay is so much fun live. poor olarn--had to stay up late two nites in a row because i was doing another photo shoot! oh well, it's good for him to get a bit of culture, and he wouldn't go to these things if connolly & i didn't plan them.

i've got so many photos to sort through from this weekend--i did 6 bands/artists in two nights and probably close to 400 photos. songs: ohia are coming to schuba's next week and then neil halstead just a few days after that. oh! and i'm gonna get to see mark eitzel for my birthday! if mark kozelek and/or the red house painters were to come to town, that would be so cool...it's been like a year since either hit chi-town.

alright, i'm tired--gonna go home (i'm in glenview at my former condo right now using the fast internet connection). gotta start making the donuts before the sun gets up tomorrow...

(update on my dad: it's so hard to leave him at the hospital when the clock strikes 8pm and visiting hours end. i can't stand the thought of him being alone all night. i can be terribly empathic, especially when it comes to people i love as dearly as my dad, and i could feel the pain of his loneliness every night when he grips my hand as i say goodnite. i used to wonder how much i loved my parents, whether i'd have enough of a soul to care for them out of love and not mere duty if they were to get sick. it's amazing how your ability to love in action is boosted during times like these, kind of like an adrenaline boost when you're faced with an emergency. somehow there is grace for me to love my dad during the time of his greatest need and weakness, and i know it's not because i'm a good person or of strong character or anything like that. it's grace--being able to do what i know i normally wouldn't have done.

i still can't get through the day without crying, and i was crying again as i left the hospital tonight. then i checked my voicemail, and my best friend josh had left me a message that immediately had me laughing, and he called me the same time i was listening to the voicemail, and it was enough to comfort me for the time being. that was the 2nd time josh had called today when i really needed to hear someone else's voice (usually when i'm on the road--it seems like it doesn't matter what i'm listening to these days in the car; i'm sure the beastie boys could make me cry in my current state of heart). then connolly called me tonight and played back messages that josh had left on his machine, and we both had a good laugh. i should have josh just make a tape of himself saying whatever and send them to me so that i could listen to them when i need a comical interlude.

i keep telling myself it'll be better once my dad comes home...i'm anxious for him to be surrounded by all the loving comforts of his own home instead of the cold sterile hospital bed that he's been cruelly confined to for almost 3 weeks...nevertheless, i feel that this experience is really bringing our family closer and giving me an entirely new perspective on life and its priorities.)

today's soundtrack:
wrecking ball - emmylou harris
your favorite music - clem snide
blue - joni mitchell
axxess & ace - songs: ohia
self-titled - songs: ohia
good dog bad dog - over the rhine