ok, so my little plan to take a nap has been foiled by a big package from burnttoastvinyl waiting for me when i opened my front door. if you've never been to btv, i highly recommend it. i get lots of great cds there. also pastemusic.com while i'm advertising. currently listening to unwed sailor's firecracker ep. you know, i think listening to instrumental stuff is better for blogging. my mind is cluttered as it is--i really don't need to be hearing someone else's voice forming words outloud while i'm trying to form my own words in my head.

well, no nap but my headache is gone hallelujah and i really mean it. i was in so much pain earlier i found myself subconsciously invoking the holy spirit for help, and i haven't done that in like i don't know how long (except to pray for my dad of course, but he's dying of cancer; what else am i supposed to do?). anyways, i'm off to the double door to catch zero7. for a few hours, i will forget that i have torture waiting for me at work tomorrow.

update on my dad: his condition seems to have plateaued (those of you just joining this blog, refer to the entry of april 3rd for background info if you care, otherwise, go check out my new concert photos: stickman jones and early day miners and songs: ohia). actually, in some sense, he's worse. they had to take him off the food because he just couldn't digest it, and so he's back on intravenous sugar solution. and his surgical incision has been showing signs of infection. his temperature is not always stable--fever one day, normal the next. he's been in the hospital since 3.21, and i'm really anxious to get him home. he'd get better so much faster i think if he were home, but there's no way they'll let him out until he can eat. i hate seeing him this way. my mother & i have practically become part of the furniture on the 3rd floor of swedish covenant. and to make things worse, the gentleman who was sharing my dad's room died suddenly in the middle of the nite friday. i had listened to his entire conversations w/ friends and family. he was scheduled for a colonoscopy in the morning, but he died quite unexpectedly before dawn. now i'm freaking out that my dad might not make it through the night. i know it's unnecessary torture i'm putting myself through, but i saw that man's teenage daughter take off from the hospital after a little spat w/ her dad, and to think that was the last interaction she had w/ him...i just feel so bad for her. it really makes you think about the way you treat people and how you take the ones closest to you for granted. fact is, none of us knows how long we're here for. it's easy to say live like today is your last day on the planet, but who really does that? i mean, you have to balance that out with paying bills and eating and laundry, you know? like if today were my last day, i'd get nothing done. anyways, i guess we all just need to think about what really matters in this life and come to terms w/ the reality of death and be at peace and all that jazz and just love the people we're blessed to have in our lives right now and show kindness and compassion to those who really need it and to those who don't. i guess that's what random acts of kindess are. well, that's my spiel for the day. i gotta get out of these work clothes and into something more suitable for the double door.
today's soundtrack:
tails - lisa loeb
control - pedro the lion
blind - the sundays
davy jones' locker - the ocean blue
soul's core - shawn mullins
the only reason i feel secure - pedro the lion
from the nest of idea - scientific
firecracker ep - unwed sailor