tonight, at a friend’s recommendation, i went out and bought book of my nights by li-young lee, a chicago area poet. i had read lee’s poetry before but not an entire collection. after i bought the book, i parked at the home depot on north ave & throop, planning to walk over to the bridge to take some photos of the chicago skyline. but by this time, there was a steady rain falling, so i decided to wait in my car. in the meantime, i decided to read my new book of poetry.

from the very first poem, i was overwhelmed by the beauty and power of the words and the imagery and emotions they evoked. i was in tears by the 7th poem, and by the time i got to the poem little father which is about the poet’s father’s death, i was literally sobbing, barely able to get the words out of my mouth as i read. i could relate so much to what the poet was expressing, and i was so moved to find my own emotions and experiences captured so beautifully in words by a perfect stranger.

many of the poems were about the poet’s experiences of the night over the years from childhood on. i personally love the night as a special time when i seem able to feel more deeply than during the light of day. i have so many special memories of nights that i spent thinking and feeling and dreaming and wondering as i sat in my car looking out into the immense night sky. also, the poet’s father was a pastor, just like mine, and the family had experienced immigrating from a homeland on the other side of the earth, just like mine. the poems felt so familiar to me, like friends from my childhood whom i’d forgotten and yet still loved. i can’t really express in word how these poems made me feel, so i’m just going to end by sharing one of those poems.

Little Round by Li-Young Lee

My fool asks: Do the years spell a path to later
be remembered? Who’s there to read them back?

My death says: One bird knows the hour and suffers
to house its millstone-weight as song.

My night watchman lies down
in a room by the sea
and hears the water telling,
out of a thousand mouths,
the story behind his mother’s sleeping face.

My eternity shrugs and yawns:
Let the stars knit and fold
inside their numbered rooms. When night asks
who I am I answer, Your own, and am not lonely.

My loneliness, my sleepless darling
reminds herself
the fruit that falls increases
at the speed of the body rising to meet it.

And my child? He sleeps and sleeps.

And my mother? She divides
the rice, today’s portion from tomorrow’s,
tomorrow’s from ever after.

And my father. He faces me and rows
toward what he can’t see.

And my God.
What have I done with my God?

today’s soundtrack:
the stability ep—death cab for cutie
mix of 23 denison witmer songs
dj—the juliana theory; speechless—the juliana theory; pictures, stars, and dreams—the juliana theory; week long embrace—the juliana theory; goodbye—emmylou harris; driving—everything but the girl; walking to you—ebtg; two star—ebtg; i love you—sarah mclachlan; born of longing—simon joyner; hold back the night—sinead o’connor; goodnight lover—songs: ohia; behind—the ocean blue; between something and nothing—the ocean blue; been down a lot lately—the ocean blue; consolation prize—the ocean blue; angel of may—damien jurado; independent—damien jurado; sarah—damien jurado; halo friendly—damien jurado; a movie script ending—death cab for cutie—coney island—dcfc; thickened light—mighty flashlight; easy—the promise ring; the state i am in—belle & sebastian; california stars—billy bragg & wilco; a case of you—joni mitchell; winning a battle, losing the war—kings of convenience; the weight of my words—kings of convenience; she broke you so softly—mojave 3; love songs on the radio—mojave 3; birds—neil young; wrecking ball—neil young; place to be—nick drake; hanging on a star—nick drake; shadows—red house painters; have you forgotten—red house painters; april after all—ron sexsmith; while you’re waiting—ron sexsmith