alright...there's something about caleb coming to town that doesn't agree w/ my car...last time he was here was when i got in that fender bender during rush hour which resulted in a nice little crunch above the passenger side front tire...well, yesterday, i parked my car around the corner on hoyne because there were absolutely no spots on my block...it happened to be the spot right at the corner...so i'm driving at around 6pm or so to go get pete & amy in hyde park...and while on the highway, i hear this weird sound coming from my car...i'm like, 'oh, shit...not another weird sound coming from my car...' last time i had a weird sound, i had a flat tire...i knew this was no flat tire...so i exited at north ave, pulled into the bp amoco across from stanley's fruit market, and got out to inspect my car...well, it turns out SOMEONE had hit my car while i was parked, and the left corner of my rear bumper was hanging by a mere 3 inches and dragging on the ground...i could see scuff marks where someone had probably hit it while turning that corner...i can't think of any other explanation...i know i didn't hit anyone, cuz there was nobody parked behind me...and a hit that would break my bumper like that, i think i would've remembered...

well, i dragged my car to the home depot, which was a couple blocks away...i called pete & amy, told them my dilemma, blamed caleb for no reason (i don't really blame caleb...it's just funny that this happened while he was in town...), and told them i was going to try to cut the damn bumper off so it wouldn't drag any more...so i went into the home depot...3 trips in and out and a hand saw, twine, duct tape, hammer (i just happened to need a hammer...i didn't hammer anything), cable twistie thingies, and super spring action shears later, i finally got the damn dragging corner of the bumper cut off and in the trunk of my car...it was frucking cold last night too...i happened to find gloves (nonmatching and both for the same hand, but gloves nevertheless) in the car which was a lifesaver...

after THAT fiasco, i went and got pete & amy...we went to hollywood grill where we had a lovely diner meal...grilled cheese...yummy...then we went over to reckless and browsed until near closing time...we went over to filter for coffee, cocoa and cider...i had only been there to get coffee to go w/ ian...and free velamints w/ michael but i don't remember why we were there...we sat for a while and just talked...the funny thing is that i think i've been hanging out w/ those guys so much more now since they moved to hyde park than when they were living in my neighborhood in logan square...i guess distance makes the heart grow fonder...

last night, i started rereading doug coupland's life after god, which my friend joe was nice enough to lend me cuz i'd been craving that book, and both my copies have been kidnapped...looking at the cover of the book, which has a photo of a little tike floating in a lovely pool looking all reflective, the following occurred...and the following is actually an email i wrote last night, but i'm lazy so here it is mostly unmodified...

every now and then, my brain gives me a little treat for no apparent reason...i haven't been particularly good...i haven't been particularly bad...but my brain sometimes sees it fit to reward me out of the goodness of its...of its...brain cells i guess, since our brains don't have hearts...

today, my brain gave me such a present...it brought to the surface of my consciousness a particularly fond memory...

it was the dead of winter years ago...there was a blizzard raging outside...i was living in east rogers park, a mile north of where c. lives...i went to the local ymca on touhy & western that night to go swimming...and the pool was entirely empty except for a father and his little boy...that was a rare treat, to have that pool all to myself...and i spent a leisurely long time in the deep end, dancing in the water...normally, you should be doing laps, but since i had the WHOLE FRICKIN' POOL to myself, i did whatever the hell i wanted...and that night i wanted to dance in the water...i love being in the water...it's so freeing...i spun round and round and round, gliding to and fro, savoring the sensation of the water swirling around my body...the world outside was being buried under a heavy blanket of snow, but inside that swimming pool, i experienced the gentle warmth of a pure childlike joy that i will never forget...

i think what i am longing for is that same pure childlike joy...it was shameless...unabashed...sweet...freeing...more beautiful than words can describe...i am seeking a reincarnation of that joy in my life now...i miss the innocence of that hour in the pool...

i want to make more memories like this one...

yup...that's what i'm going for...

listened to--
one part lullaby--the folk implosion
being there disc two--wilco
s/t--the clash

p.s. i just remembered! yesterday, while ted and i were sitting in starbucks talking, i heard the familiar sounds of my favorite rosie thomas song over the speakers, the one which i posted the lyrics to on monday 1/6...like how weird is that?! i got all teary-eyed...here i was in the midst of a deep conversation w/ lovely ted, and rosie's song playing in the background...it was a bit much...i SOOOOOO wanna hit the road for joshua tree...weird thing is that joe asked me thursday night if i'd ever been there...he said the magic words..."JOSHUA TREE..." i got all excited...i told him i wanna do a road trip out there...to camp in the desert beneath the stars......roadtrip, roadtrip, roadtrip...