the laptop is dead...long live the laptop!

yes, i have seen my soon-to-be-coronated new work laptop, and it is tiiiiiiight! it's still heavy for a laptop, but i will forgive it this misfortune because it has a 15" screen...DVD drive...CD-RW...1.8ghz processing speed...512mb RAM...and the docking station--get this--is ELVISH SILVER...oh, it's true...

and here is an excerpt from last night's reading of life after god by doug coupland...go get your own copy...leave a couple for me...

"sometimes i think the people to feel the saddest for are people who are unable to connect with the profound--people such as my boring brother-in-law, a hearty type so concerned with normality and fitting in that he eliminates any possibility of uniqueness for himself and his own personality. i wonder if some day, when he is older, he will wake up and the deeper part of him will realize that he has never allowed himself to truly exist, and he will cry with regret and shame and grief.

and then sometimes i think the people to feel saddest for are people who once knew what profoundness was, but who lost or became numb to the sensation of wonder--people who closed the doors that lead us into the secret world--or who had the doors closed for them by time and neglect and decisions made in times of weakness..." --from life after god by doug coupland

i feel like there are people in my life, people who may or may not be my friends, who seem to be telling me to hurry up and become jaded...to stop being so affected by my surroundings...to unpin my heart from my sleeve and to tuck it away somewhere safe and unnoticeable and impervious...some of them mean well...and then there are those who i think just feel the need to pull others into their world of numbness and indifference so that they themselves won't feel alone in it.

and i'm trying not to give in...i want to continue having my moments of epiphanic proportions...i want to feel sadness and joy and not be ashamed of these feelings...am i just naive? or stupid? or misinformed?

i will not be jaded...i will not be jaded...i will not be jaded...i will not be jaded...