...well, it's the last day of the year 2004, and my oh my what a year it has been...just for kicks, i went back in time and read stuff i wrote in my blog before my life was forever changed when i found out teddy & i were pregnant...that would have been during january and february...reading those entries makes me laugh and *sigh* at the same time...in some ways, i am still that silly girl who was only interested in the next indie rock show and photoshoot and hanging out with her hot drummer boyfriend and who cried at reading children's books or movies about dads who lived 'big fish' lives who die of cancer...i still hate getting my hair wet in showers in the winter...i still don't cook very often...i still love the detholz! and life at sea...

...and yet in some ways i am a whole new person now...for one thing, 99.9999% of the photos i take these days are of a 2 footer whose age is calculated in weeks...instead of going to bed at 2 or 3am after a night of rock 'n' roll, i now get up at those hours to nourish a hungry little baby...my blog contains much fewer swear words these days...instead of posting to this blog every chance i get, i--well, actually, i still DO post every chance i get...those chances just don't come very often any more...my fridge has more bottles of pumped breastmilk than bottles of beer on the average night...to sum it up, my life is no longer just MY life anymore...it's teddy's and cadence's, not out of duty or obligation, but because i can't help wanting what's best for my family now, instead of being interested in just what i want for myself...

...don't get me wrong--i still love the rock and i still love the roll...but now i get to share that w/ my teddy and my little cadence, and it's so much more fun to share than to keep all that good music to yourself...

been listening to--
at folsom prison--johnny cash
march 16-20,1992--uncle tupelo
without a sound--dinosaur jr
bryter layter--nick drake
summerteeth--wilco
mouthfuls--fruit bats
good news for people who love bad news--modest mouse
oh mercy--bob dylan
dear life--bill mallonee (every night at 9pm)

feliz navidad

merry christmas from ted, sarah & our little cadence joy!

...it's amazing how quickly a little baby can change, not just physically, but socially as well...cadence & i had probably our most interactive days this past weekend...she's starting to smile and laugh a lot more, and she was in such a good mood i did a photo shoot that involved 4 outfits...i put a few of the photos (#172-190) in our yahoo album...it was so hard to leave her monday morning to go to work...i talk to her by phone a couple times a day, but it's just not the same...she's becoming more and more expressive and aware of her surroundings...she's finally starting to appreciate all the toys she's gotten...

...one thing's for sure...she loves her bill mallonee & bob dylan! which is totally fine with me...sometimes when we're listening to one of their albums, she'll start whimpering if the silence in between songs lasts too long for her...i can relate...

...*sigh*...she's so cute...one more coo, one more giggle, and my heart may just give out...

...meet CADENCE JOY, future punk rock sensation!!! that's right, folks...y'all can decide amongst yourselves which one's her emo, riot grrrl, punk pop, shoe gazer, indie and hard core look...

...holy schmole...i forgot all about this here place...well, i've been busy...not sleeping too well either...getting christmas stuff ready...now that we're an official family with child, we felt it necessary to send out christmas cards w/ photo, ya dig? so i've been busy writing out addresses...if you feel like you deserve a card from me, email me your address, and i'll ask cadence if i should send you a card or not...

...last sunday we had our reunion w/ our child birth education classmates now that all the babies have been born...it was so nice to see everyone and hear all their birth stories...the babies were all so cute! cadence was the 2nd oldest one there, and quite possibly the biggest in size...hard to believe that little pip squeak could actually look big, but next to an 8 pounder, she looks pretty huge now...

...after that reunion, we went to see our friends jenn & john who had their little ada gray in august...they were having an open house, and we were so happy to finally meet their little girl...jenn & john are also totally cool...they've introduced me to some great bands...maybe we'll be taking our little girls to some kids music shows in the future together...

...alright...time to feed...

...my, how time flies...well, uncle charles & auntie ali were here until monday night and they headed back home to seattle...sniff, sniff...i wants to go to seattle, too...sunday night, ted's parents & little sister lauren drove down from the burbs and met us & charles & ali & dave at millenium park...it was mighty nippy...we were there around 4 pm & our reservation @ the park grill wasn't until 5pm, but we were freezing outside, so we started dinner early, which was just as well...cadence was not having a good evening...i purposely got the bbq chicken pizza so that i could hold her and eat with just one hand...grandma held her for most of the evening, and she told us stories about how she had to learn to deal w/ fussy babies...going home in the car, cadence was incosolable...i had to put the blanket over the carseat because i could not bear to look at her...she has this way of crying frantically with her eyes wide open, and it just breaks my heart when she gets that way...and it's not like i can take her out of the carseat while the car is moving...she wore herself out crying pretty good, and she must have slept 5 hours straight that night...

...yesterday was cadence's 10 week birthday...i took her for her first round of vaccinations today...i dreaded the experience, but it went pretty well...she was great during the exam, and when she got the shots, she cried but stopped after about a minute and then fell asleep as i got her dressed and in the carseat, which was a total relief...i'd been scared that she'd go nuts after getting those shots on the car ride home, and i didn't want to leave her alone in the back...but she slept all the way home, and didn't even whimper when i went below 40 mph...whew! now, i hope the side effects from those shots aren't too bad tonight...

...i have to say, cadence REALLY loves bill mallonee's dear life album...i know i've said that before, but now i put on that album every time she gets really fussy, and she calms down right away and eventually falls asleep...i think she likes the harmonica...she also really likes bob dylan's 'oh mercy' and i play that cd right after 'dear life'...it's a promising sign of her future taste in music...some of my favorite dylan songs are on that album...

...speaking of bob dylan, i've been reading his new book 'chronicles volume one' on my train rides to & from work, and i've got like 10 more pages left...it's interesting to read about how he got started in the music biz in his own words...he talks about how he chose the name 'bob dylan', all the different artists he ran into in greenwich village in the early 60's, the making of some albums, esp. a detailed song by song description of the making of 'oh mercy' working w/ daniel lanois, how blown away he was by woody guthrie the first time he heard one of his records...it's not as captivating as woody guthrie's bound for glory, which i absolutely loved, but it's still a fascinating read...he really is a poet, that bob dylan, and his prose is an english teacher's nightmare...